Monday, January 11, 2010

Prop 8 Trial Coverage: I’m a 45 y.o. Woman and I Don’t Have a Word to Describe My Relationship

By guest blogger Davina Kotulski of

Boies calls Kristen Perry to the stand. Describe your sexual orientation.

Perry-"I am a lesbian." Boies-"What does that mean?"

"I've only ever fallen in love with women. The happiest I've ever felt is with Sandy because I'm in love with her."

Boies-"Do you think you'll change."

Perry-"I'm 45 years old. I don't think so. I never let myself want (marriage) until now because everyone tells you you're never going to have it."

We went to City Hall and brought all of the boys and my mom and we got married at City Hall. The feelings I had were new to me. I have not let myself want to feel them, floating above the ceremony oh that’s me getting married. I couldn’t believe it. After, we had another ceremony with other people. We planned an afternoon with our friends and family in Berkeley… 100 guests in August 2004.

A few weeks after our August ceremony the California State Supreme Court ruled that our marriages were invalidated.

When you’re gay you think you don’t deserve things. So, I kind of expected it. The City of SF sent us a letter telling us that our marriage was not valid. That’s when we knew we were not married in SF anymore.

Boies-“What did that evoke?”

Perry-“I’m not good enough to be married.”

Boies-“What did you feel when the California Court ruled in 2008?”

Perry-“I was elated. But we couldn’t bring ourselves to do it again right then. We hadn’t really recovered from what happened in 2004. We decided not to go forward at that time.”

They discuss Yes on Prop 8 Ad

Perry- “The ad was to create a set of fear in me and that if I want to fix a bad thing I should vote Yes on 8.”

I'm a 45 y.o. woman and I don't have the word to describe my relationship. It appears to be really important to people and I'd like to use the word too. It symbolizes the most important adult decision you make in your life. You choose that relationship.

They get to support our family in a way that makes sense to them. Because right now we are outside the tradition.

Boies “I’m sure you heard the argument that -Allowing you to get married will damage the institution of marriage.”

“There is something so humiliating about everyone knowing that you want to make that decision (to marry) and knowing that you can’t. I still have to find a way to feel okay and not let every discriminatory behavior toward me personally.”

Nicely done Kristen!!!

Image: Kristen Perry, named plaintiff in Prop 8 case, Perry v. Schwarzenegger

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